


Memento Audere Numquam

by vogue91



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabble Sequence, Gen, Introspection, POV First Person, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 07:11:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13002549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Draco wasn't born brave, nor he was made it.He didn't have a fair chance in this war.





	Memento Audere Numquam

**Author's Note:**

> The title is latin for "Remember to never Dare". I based this on my convinction that, as much of a spoiled brat as he can be, Draco has got his own thoughts, so I'm not tagging it as OOC.

_[One dream]_

I looked outside the window.

Nothing looked the same anymore.

The whole world seemed to be more grey, somehow. Grey, and I was on the side of those who had stained it, who had made it unrecognizable.

I thought about last year, then the year before that.

When it was all so simple, when there were no responsibilities, threats, fears hanging over my head.

I sighed. Last night, I’ve had the same recurring nightmare.

Death and ruin.

That nightmare that would’ve soon become reality.

While I remained still, waiting, hoping one day I’ll be given back the luxury on knowing dreams. _The_ dream.

That of letting this suffocating grey fade.

And still, there’s only nightmares.

 

_[One soul]_

I thought I was gonna like it.

The journey to Hogwarts, finally without filthy Mudbloods aboard.

I really appreciated it.

Until everything had felt normal, until I could convince myself that the whole situation was dictated by nature.

Until the Death Eaters came, Death Eaters like me, looking for Potter.

Not that I was worried about his fate. I just wondered how to ignore the signs of that upcoming war.

Because I couldn’t. Because it would’ve come, and I had nothing to fight for.

 

_[One Prize]_

_I... maybe._

  1. Maybe.



The only words I was able to say.

Without choosing a side, ever. Without giving in to the call of duty nor to that, much fleeting but ever present, of my conscience.

_Maybe._

Without condemning nor absolving them.

Depriving myself of the prize of being the one to recognize them, depriving my family of the prize of honour, the same I wasn’t able to maintain, and that I couldn’t give back to them.

I left, because cowards can’t stand the sight of their own cowardice. And I, I have to admit, I was afraid.

Afraid of that prized I’ve desired so much, and that I was never going to deserve.

 

_[One Goal]_

Survive, survive, survive.

Survive, when we had almost reached the end.

Survive, because none of us deserved this.

Because it was horribly easy to hit, until you were hit in return.

Crabbe was dead, and I had waved my white flag. I leant over that wall, stage of my shame, almost praying to be left there, in peace.

_Peace._

Among the war. It was all I wanted, and I was going to stop facing all those who were trying to defend Hogwarts, because even thought I was on the wrong side, it felt like they were trying to protect me too.

_Survive._

I had reached my goal.

But at what price?


End file.
